Oh, the  Rammstein

During this period, there's been a lot of talk about the "Scandal" surrounding the famous metal band "Rammstein," and honestly, as soon as I read the initial claims, I stopped reading the rest. Or rather, I stopped reading it while giving any weight to the accusations. Just another wealthy man having to pay his dues to the so-called #metoo movement. And I have plenty of good reasons to say so.

Since I'm feeling generous, let's start with some good news. The famous metal band Rammstein also sells a fragrance (at least here in Germany) that I find quite delightful. To give you an idea of its scent: when you wear it in the morning, it smells like victory. I'm not sure if I'd wear it to work, but it's perfect for the bourgeois life. Especially at metal concerts, where you have a convenient excuse to freshen up: this is the Rammstein fragrance. No cheap dirt stink here. Well, guess what? The price has been slashed in half. Previously, the two bottles you see below cost the same amount. Now, the Rammstein fragrance is half the price.

Setting aside the good news, let's get to the heart of the matter. The accusations of "harassment" or "rape" in this case are ridiculous. They are ridiculous because if you enter a sauna, you don't file a complaint against the owner because it's too hot. You don't report the people around you because they're sweating. There are places where things happen, and there are places where things HAPPEN to YOU. The contract is already written, widely known, absolutely explicit, and hardly anyone hides it. So, let's get back to the point: if you enter a sauna, they'll crank up the temperature. If you enter the backstage party of an Industrial metal concert, or any "whatever metal" concert for that matter, you're walking into an orgy fueled by alcohol and various drugs. Period.

Using the phrase "backstage party of a metal concert" and the term "furious orgy" can be seen as using two synonyms. In fact, I would even say that "furious orgy" is an understatement because it doesn't convey the deafening noise, rivers of alcohol, and free-flowing drugs. But there's an even more important point to emphasize: when the band is as significant as Rammstein, there's a line to get into the backstage party. And there are bouncers standing there. Because, obviously, the band doesn't want any trouble with those clueless individuals who didn't realize they were heading to an orgy. So, what should a girl do if she wants to get close to the orgy party and have a chat with the famous singer? The technique is simple. Choose one of the security guards. Dress in a way that oozes sexual allure. Be provocative. Approach the security guard with a smile. Without even saying "hello," get down on your knees. Unzip their pants. Perform oral sex until the happy ending. If all the security guards are busy, don't worry, you can lend a hand, and join a duo. The security guards are tolerant and generous.

Now you might say, "Hey, but there are exceptions. Some bands don't do that." If you're the parents of a girl, I understand. I'm a father, too.  It's part of your job to believe that there are metal concerts where this doesn't happen. And the people listening to you will nod seriously while trying to hold back their laughter. Of course, your daughter's favorite metal band doesn't do it. I'm convinced of it. Absolutely certain. The difference between you and me is that being the father of daughters forces me to say the same... but not to believe it. And you don't believe it either. If it's a metal concert and the band is famous, the backstage party after the show is an orgy. Always. Period. Gene Simmons has had more partners than many famous male pornstars. And he didn't meet them at the supermarket.(the partners, I mean).

Now I know what those from the #MeToo movement will say. They'll tell me that just because you gave a blowjob to to a random bouncer in order to get into an orgy doesn't mean you have to have sex with the lead singer. Maybe you prefer the bassist. Wrong. Completely wrong. You entered a fucking orgy, with a selection process at the entrance designed to filter only the most uninhibited and needy girls. The rule is that if you're there, you fuck anyone, for no particular reason, never say no, and if you don't like it, you leave. That's why it's called an "orgy." It's not called "I found the Poison's lead singer with curlers, cucumbers in his eyes, cream on his face while doing yoga near the Zen fountain." No. Orgy means orgy. It means a place where you enter with a liver that's asking for a divorce due to excessive alcohol, a dripping wet pussy, and an asshole making "O" shapes like a glass. If you enter there, it means exactly and precisely that. We're talking about Metal music, not the Måneskin.

For this reason, when I hear about this story, I usually burst out laughing. Those girls who accuse Rammstein first of all admit that they didn't actually have sex with them, but only felt a strong pressure to do so, as if everyone expected it. Oh, really? Surprising!!!

This might have something to do with the fact that they entered an orgy by paying the entrance fee with blowjobs, but I wouldn't want to speculate too much.(LOL) But my  point is, if you find out that you accidentally walked into an orgy, you should do what those men do who claim to have entered a brothel without knowing where they were. I knew a guy who told me he entered out of curiosity to see the interior design. A love for interior design like you wouldn't believe. But the point is, at these parties, no one is obliged to stay. You can leave at any time. No one gives a damn about you. And no one holds you back. I repeat: no one holds you back. As proof of this, in the "accusation," there is NEVER any mention of kidnapping.

Now we need to address some questions. The first one is, "Why don't any of these girls accuse them of actually having sex, but only mention feeling strong pressure or expectation?" There's a reason for that. Those singers are covered in tattoos, even in intimate areas. And if you walk into a rape trial with a man covered in tattoos in sensitive areas, any lawyer would annihilate you in twenty-five seconds. Twenty-five if they speak slowly, I mean. So, they will report "strong pressure," "expectations," or something similar. Because if you even mention getting a close look at a guy covered in piercings, earrings, necklaces, chains, and tattoos, the lawyer turns into a Megaborg and impales you with a flaming fir tree.

The second question is: why isn't it common knowledge that the backstage party of a concert, especially if it's a popular metal band, is an orgy? The answer is that in the past, there have been  metal bands made of plastic who were highly transgressive on stage, but if you went backstage, you'd find them sipping detox herbal teas, with curlers in their hair to protect their curls, wearing their health t-shirts, and the yoga master already prepared, while the scent of tofu incense lingers in the air. I never mentioned "Poison," mind you. That was your thought. Nor did I mention Skid Row.

The Måneskin.... well, it doesn't claim to be any kind of metal, so they're exempt from judgement and can be transgressive on stage but kittens behind the scenes. As they are, and how we all love them.

The last question will be: why can't a certain type of clueless individual associate reality with what actually happens? That a metal band would be particularly interested in sex could be deduced from songs like "Golden Shower," "Pussy," "Praise Abort," and many others by Rammstein. That metal has something to do with sex and drugs can be "somehow inferred" from the lyrics of the songs. How is it possible that these individuals go to a backstage party after a concert, believing they will engage in philosophical discussions with their idols? It's simple: social networks. It's the empire of fakery. The galaxy of posers. The haven of charlatans. The sultanate of fluff. These girls think that reality is like a social network: a fiction constructed to build a reputation that can be spent. Consequently, they fail to grasp the connection between "orgy" and "backstage party at a famous metal band's concert." They think it's some kind of fake that these bands create, just like they create their own photos in Dubai using Photoshop. "What do you mean, it's all real?" It's the astonishment of a woman who suddenly realizes that reality is three-dimensional. What do you mean, there are things beyond Instagram?

In this way, those generations fail to understand that there is something real in what they see or know. They are the same girls who dive into pornography because they didn't really believe that taking two black dicks in the ass was necessary. They thought it was an Instagram or TikTok filter. Then they wake up impaled by (the first) twelve inches and discover that reality... is just real.  Is not a tiktok filter.

But they discover it too late. And then they accuse you of rape, just like they did with Ron Jeremy: they thought they could become porn stars without having to deal with real cocks?  And in the same way, convinced that the whole world is a social network, they have no problem giving a blowjob to random security guy (maybe it's like OnlyFans, and they have an OnlyFans), only to discover that the orgy that follows is not just something you say on social media to build a reputation. "What do you mean it's all real?" say the idiots accustomed to a world that exists only in JPEGs and videos.

So don't expect me to join you in this ridiculous whining. The "don't blame the victims" narrative may resonate with some, but common sense sets certain limits. A girl who pays her way into a backstage party with a string of blowjobs, ends up at an orgy, and then acts surprised by the pressure to have sex is VASTLY beyond the scope of "don't blame the victim."

In other words, far beyond the bounds of common sense.